Why I don't make New Year's resolutions

I missed the both the Baby Boomers and Generation X by a few years. I'm a forty-something foreign-born American, business owner, wife, mother of two homeschooled children. I grew up first behind the Iron Curtain, and later on the north-west side of Chicago, and attended a very prestigious university, from which I earned a graduate degree, and which has absolutely nothing to do with what I am doing today. In 1989 I threw my academic career and caution to the wind, and took up with a scruffy bicycle messenger, whom I later married. Throwing caution to the wind became a pattern, and a few years later, with not much more than five grand of cash in hand, and another five in vendor credits, we decided to open a bicycle store.

My leather-bound, hard-earned diploma stashed in a a dark corner of the attic, I went to work changing countless inner tubes, cleaning and oiling gritty chains, fitting people on bicycles, and talking up the benefits of urban cycling. It was exhilarating work. I loved it! I had discovered a passion for doing things with my hands, earnestly interacting with people, and building and creating a business we wholeheartedly believed in. Amidst all this (not literally, of course), children were conceived and born, a house was bought, and comfortable, middle-class existence beckoned.

Unhappily, our quirky little neighborhood business grew much faster than we could handle, and we found ourselves in debt to the hilt. All credit card debt. How much? Well, the round number had five zeroes behind it. I'll leave the interest rates to your imagination. It still makes my heart race. After six years,a flirtation with a second career, many sleepless nights and desperate arguments, and untold wrinkle-inducing stress later, we are, with the exception of our mortgage, debt-free.

There are lots of us out there with lives like this. Well, maybe not exactly like this, but similar enough. Ordinary (or less ordinary), full (sometimes too full) lives, revolving around the problems of daily living, money, love, debt, jobs, family. Lives lived in more or less perfect homes, filled with children who sometimes misbehave, but most of the time they make your heart ache, and irritating spouses, with their bad habits, who love you unconditionally, and without whom you would wither, and aging parents, who know better, tremble over you, but stand by you anyway, and pets, and books, and bills, and shoes stacked next to the front door... and hours ticking mercilessly on and on...

And everyone out there -- strangers, all of them -- tries to tell us how to make these lives better.
What you could be, if only you had enough. Enough of what? Determination, perseverance, self-control, focus, money? We lap it up. Seven habits in 30 days. 20 pounds in a week. Four hours a week to early retirement. From $100 to $1,000,000 in a heartbeat. Meaningful goals. Prioritized objectives. A better you: organized, pulled together, fit, focused, financially sound, sexually fulfilled, regular, and balanced. Millions of ways to help you get a life.

Except that most of us already have an amazing life. As my friend Deb asks: So, if my life and self are only ever this, as they are now - why would that not be enough?

I thought this would be a blog about homeschooling. But, to borrow someone else's phrase, homeschooling has revolutionized the way I see the world, and I can no longer separate it from the rest of my life. It has made me look at my life, and see something I like. After the years of indescribable anxiety and stress, homeschooling brought unexpected solace, allowing me to walk full-circle back to my core beliefs, and to realize that everything I need is already right here. If you're anything like me, your glass is already full.

So drink.

Comments

[Heather]

What an AWESOME post!!

[Justyna]

Thanks very much!
For some reason, I haven't been able to post comments on my own blog for a few days. Let's see if this works.

[Lori]

excellant post Justyna!

[Lynn]

I agree! Beautiful post :)

[~Katherine]

I'm here via RUN. I don't have a thing I could add to this. Thanks for linking us to this beautiful blogpost. Great writing and philosophy.

[Justyna]

Thank you, Katherine. And thanks for tootin' my horn on RUN.

[Marilyn20Landry]

Houses are quite expensive and not every person is able to buy it. However, personal loans was invented to support people in such kind of cases.

[True Religion Jeans Outlet]

How often do we hear complaints from the police investigating some crime that they are facing a "wall of silence", that "someone out there" has vital evidence which out of fear or a misplaced sense of loyalty they are refusing to report? Have the courage to come forward is the message: your public duty comes before your personal concerns.